A freeing article on the Lost Daughters blog

This article was posted yesterday by Rebecca Hawkes on Lost Daughters:

Free-Falling Into the Baby Rage Zone: Another Adoptee Epiphany

Rebecca writes: “I am angry because they didn’t fight for me.  I am angry that they didn’t rise up and rage against the system that was tearing us apart.  I’m angry that they didn’t realize what was truly being lost until it was too late.  I am angry that they allowed themselves to be tricked into believing it would all be okay.  Because it wasn’t and it never will be.  Not entirely.”

I nod in agreement with her.  I am not her mother, but I am that mother.  I am one of those parents.  As painful as it may be for me to face that, something in me is relieved at the truth of it, relieved that a person who grew up adopted summoned the courage to speak the truth of it and bring it to light.

I nod in acknowledgment and agreement with everything she has written in this article.  The truth may hurt, but the hurt places can only have the real possibility of healing when the light is shined on it.  It only does increasingly more damage when left to fester isolated in the dark.  Thank you, Rebecca, for being brave enough to face the truth and bring it to light.  I honor your courage and your pain and your willingness to go where most everyone is afraid to let you go because it could possibly bring into question their own choices.  I don’t have to tell you it’s alright because it just is…all right!

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2 thoughts on “A freeing article on the Lost Daughters blog

  1. Thank you! As I wrote in my comment on LD:
    “Thank you, thank you, thank you! I can’t tell you how much I appreciate these words. When I encounter a first mother who says “I was hurt by adoption and I deserve empathy and understanding for what happened to me,” I agree 100%. But when I encounter a first mother who says “My CHILD was hurt by adoption and I will stand up and acknowledge that so that I may hold a piece of that pain for them” something powerful happens for me. I see the mother stepping back into her parental role, and something is set right again.”

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