Perhaps, to those who’ve been following this blog since the beginning, it may seem as if I have gone soft in the political part of family preservation and adoptee rights. What I have found about political causes, as with any “war” waged, it’s very easy to get caught up in the politics, and as soon as we do that, the humanity that brought the issue to light in the beginning gets lost in the battle as one side takes up arms to enforce change and another side takes up arms to resist change.
And when it comes to our kids, battling each other over them is rarely a good thing, and usually not a healthy thing. And that is the essence of what must come back to adoption: it must, once again, be about what is best for posterity. The last thing I want is for children, be they my own or anyone else’s, to become collateral damage – especially in a fight that will only be won when all involved, be they mothers, fathers, babies, or would-be adoptive parents, are given a chance to take a step back from their immediate crises and step into their true human forms and get connected and/or re-connected with their true human hearts so as to facilitate really thinking this all the way through. The understanding human mind and compassionate human heart is where solutions will be found – and how children who are already born who truly have no families, for whatever reason, will finally be the focus of adoption, and they can have families too.
And so, my goal is to continue to put a human face on adoption. I’m putting my face before anyone who’ll be brave enough to see it as one of many representing the heartbreak of a family that got shot down before it ever got a chance to take flight. I represent one side of the adoption triad. I will take up my banner at times and cry out for change, but, by God’s help and grace, I will fight my battle the way my conscience allows and will not allow my humanity to be taken from me in the process. My humanity eluded me for far too long to toss it away now – to any entity, any thing, any cause, or even anyone. I gave permission for that to happen and had no idea if I would ever experience my true humanity again. For the past 2-3 years, little-by-little, I have been reclaiming it, and I am going to be very vigilant in making sure it isn’t taken from me again.
This humanity now has gashes, has scars, and rust, and deformities, and some things about it that just aren’t that pretty. But you know? When I was prettier, I was also much more shallow, much more judgmental, and far less capable of giving a pass or anything like a real chance to others. I don’t have that kind of luxury anymore. And you know what? I am completely okay with that.