It took a few years for me to catch up with the phenomenon known as American Idol. Oddly enough, it was back in 2008, when I had gone as long as I could go with trying to catch my breath and recover from all of the effects of giving up my child and made my first of many escapes to the mountains. I stayed at one of the many lodges in one of the majestic national forests, and when I was flipping through the channels, happened upon a angelic-faced young man in dreadlocks singing “Hallelujah” by Leonard Cohen and was surprised and quickly drawn in.
I haven’t watched it every year, but I did watch this year and became enthralled by the young performer named Charlie Askew. And I watched as the media machine shot him out like a clay pigeon and shot him down with a gazillion holes. And that is the world in which we live.
Of course, everything horrible about life in this world reminds me of what it was like after I surrendered my child. But seeing the media frenzy blow one hard day in the life of one young man waaaaay out of proportion, I was reminded of how the vultures and vampires came out to pluck my eyes and life essence when I had been kicked down as far as I could possibly go – to the point I was dying and didn’t even care.
An unseen presence cared, though, and that is how I maintained breath in my body and grabbed hold of a liferaft and got my bearings enough to also grab hold of a will to live. This world is disgusting. Stinky, smelly, horrid…just so many things there aren’t words for – and I don’t want there to be words for.
If they can’t find a way to rape one way, they’ll find another. I could have been sucked in by the fame monster just as easily as I was by the adoption machine. It’s all the same.
And yet there is the indelible human spirit whose candle still burns steadily and brightly with a light not of this world in spite of it all…I’ve said it before; I’ll say it again: Don’t tell me there isn’t grace!!!