All the material in this blog may seem to point to a notion that I am a hater of adoption. And that may be true. But if I am a hater, it is not as if my feelings are unfounded, and I’ll tell you why.
Here is the bare bones, naked, raw truth of my experience with adoption: Adoption takes the one relationship in the entire universe that is the simplest, purest of all relationships, the bond between mother and child, and convolutes it, makes it all twisted and complicated. For years, I have been fighting the impulse to reach out to my son, just for the simplest things that many mothers get to enjoy and take for granted, but because there is this complicated thing between us, i.e., his adoption, I cannot. I do not cross that boundary that – everything within me and everything in the natural world and the universe seems to almost shout – SHOULDN’T EVEN BE THERE!!
It should be the simplest thing: think of my son, pick up the phone. But NO! Can’t do that! Can’t upset that apple cart! He’s my SON not a GD apple or cart! Anything that F’s with that simplest and most basic universal truth is F’d UP!! It just IS!