Well…I did it. Most of my Fayetteville and Cali friends already knew about my son and the adoption. I’ve been the most nervous about the people from my hometown finding out. Isn’t that strange? I mean, who of us has led a perfect life, really.
I was hoping to have already connected with my son and that we’d have already met and gotten it all behind us, and he’d already know what a loud-mouthed, opinionated weirdo I really am before making a public announcement on facebook like I did, but it didn’t turn out that way. I hope if he sees any of this it doesn’t scare or embarrass him. I just could no longer handle the pressure of leading what felt like a double life. The pressure had been mounting, and I HATE having secrets! I can take someone else’s secrets to the grave, but I cannot handle having secrets of my own. When I come face-to-face with someone, I like being able to look them straight in the eye knowing there is nothing I’m hiding, knowing that what they’re seeing is really who and what I am, and I like knowing where I stand with people. The only way I’ve found that I can truly know where I stand is by just being honest and putting it all out there, and people either accept it or they don’t.
Everybody was really great! And it feel as though the weight of the world has been lifted off of my shoulders to just finally get it all out there.