Seeing this today on facebook really hit me like a ton of bricks (that first comment is mine):
Is it too much to ask for a little humanity here??? In this modern era we have been perfecting ways to very clinically deal with women who get pregnant under the societal norm’s less than ideal circumstances, and the best we can do after decades is move us through like a bunch of cattle? I grew up on a livestock farm. I have experienced life on a farm, cows and sheep calving, de-worming, all the things a farmer must do to make a living off of livestock. It’s very difficult to see our approaches as much different than life on the farm…(and no wonder I couldn’t burn rubber to get off the farm fast enough once I came of age…but, then, that’s for another entry, perhaps…hmm…I’m building up quite a few of those, innit?? :D)).
They “counsel” many women before sending them to the stirrups to terminate “unwanted**” pregnancies, but, as far as I know, they never show them films of or offer the chance to speak to women who went before them recounting the deep dark secrets that haunt them from having terminated. When I was newly pregnant, and word got out in our rather closely knit community that I was pregnant and considering relinquishing to adoption, there were so, so many women who sought me out to tell me that they wish they’d done what I did instead of terminating (of course, now, though, looking back, I would tell them with emphatic certainty: ‘No. You really don’t wish you’d done what I did…please, pretty please, just trust me on that…’).
I had counseling…the whole time I was pregnant. I had access to women’s health organizations. Not one entity who knew what I was doing offered me any films or conversations with birth moms whose ties were completely severed from their children – or with children who grew up adopted either, for that matter. Since everyone else around me was taking my word for it that I knew what I was doing (even though, I clearly see now that I didn’t have a clue), including my own family, the most useful counseling would have been this rich, untapped resource of experience.
Haven’t enough people been wounded past the point of recovery? Haven’t we done enough damage? Haven’t we figured out that our children are the greatest thing about us? Haven’t we figured out that a woman considering relinquishing for adoption during pregnancy is the very person who should be considered to put the wellbeing of her child first, so, therefore should be given first consideration and opportunity for the giving of that child to raise? Did the story of Solomon judging between the 2 women who gave birth, but one woman’s died and she stole the other woman’s and tried to pass the child off as her own teach us nothing – after thousands of years to have this lesson sink in??? (For those who don’t know what I’m talking about, Solomon was David’s successor to the throne of Israel, and one of the first issues brought to him at the beginning of his reign was the case between the 2 women: 1Kings 3:16-28). GOD!!! Please help us stop the madness!!!
** – re: “unwanted**” – It is my opinion that no pregnancy is truly unwanted. I believe the very desire for sexual encounter is rooted in an even deeper desire to procreate, but, then, that would upset a lot of feminist and probably even humanist sensibilities, so I won’t expound on that too much more…for now…