Against the advice of my son’s adoptive dad when we talked back in May about his wish to meet me, I contacted my son on facebook 2 days ago to let him know how to contact me now or in the future should he ever have the desire to. I had been feeling for some time that I should be the one to reach out. After all, he doesn’t know me at all, whereas, I know him on a level that no one else does.
After I sent the message, I felt a measure of peace. I felt I’d done the right thing. I still feel I’ve done the right thing. Facebook wasn’t my preference for contacting him, and I said so in my note, but it’s the only way I could find to contact him directly. I trust no one to deliver the message for me – not even the US Postal service.
As the adoptive father might have feared, my contacting him might have triggered an instinct to shut down. I accepted that risk and did so employing all that I currently know to convey that my message demanded nothing from him yet gave him options. If my contacting him did freak him out, I must trust that he will think it through and eventually come to the conclusion that my actions were motivated by love.
And, so, there is nothing more to do at this point than wait and see what the outcome will be.